Just call me Uma

Today was my first actual day at school. I came in with my little bicycle and greeted the scattered groups of students at Shimasho (they don’t have classes right now but apparently like to come to school just for the hell of it….yeah, wow….see people, that’s what happens when pot is illegal – too much ambition). The best thing by far about the students though is that they are like real life anime characters! The ones in my school just happen to wear the little sailor outfits like on Sailor Moon and all the girls are adorable and super giggly. They all call me Rana-sensei and say hello to me about ten times a day in those cute little Japanese accents. Seriously, sometimes I feel like I’m on drugs or something….I mean when a group of them surrounds me it's like I stepped through a Japanime portal. Weird.
They also can’t stop staring at my boobs. Yep, today I had a bit of a low cut shirt and when I came close to one of the girls her eyes went wide as she stared at my chest and I thought she was gonna pass out. She said something in Japanese to her friends and then they all stared in wonder at my boobs, a few of them giggling and whispering. Yeah, I guess I gotta wear some less low cut shirts, but since there are no classes right now my supervisors told me I could dress down….and well you all know what my informal wear is like. Whatever. I don’t care if I’m known as the gaijin slut with ginormous breasts…at least I’m leaving a mark in the world.
Since there are no classes now, Vuzi and I have pretty much nothing to do at the school but are still required to be there. Occasionally one of the other teachers will tell us about something or another that we need to do but that usually only takes a few minutes. To help pass the time today I tried to study some Japanese from my books and occasionally shouted a phrase I learned at the Japanese secretary that sits across from me (her name is Matsumae-san and she’s super nice, even though she doesn’t speak a word of English). If she looked at me in puzzlement I knew I got it wrong….but when she smiled and answered I figured I had gotten my point across. The only trouble with that is that when she answers back the conversation pretty much stops right there, and I’m left shrugging my shoulders apologetically at her. She doesn’t seem to mind though, but for all I know she could be thinking “if you keep bothering me with your half assed Japanese you dumbass gaijin, I am going to poison your green tea and then watch with much enjoyment as you writhe in agony on the floor” as she sits there smiling pleasantly and bowing her head at me. Well I gotta learn Japanese somehow….and I just won’t accept any green tea from her as a precaution. After a few hours of this I got bored though. Vuzi seemed to be falling asleep as well so I chatted him up a bit. Well all I got was a lesson on South African history and culture and the importance of international relations, blah, blah. Then he spent an hour trying to convince me that South Africa is the best country in the world and that I should move there. I quickly went back to shouting Japanese at the secretary.
Just then a teacher I had not yet met came in wearing an iaido/jodo (sword and staff based martial arts for the non martial artists out there) uniform. He walked up to Vuzi and said something in Japanese and motioned for him to follow. Vuzi quickly explained that he had started Kendo lessons a few days ago. That sounded so much better than sitting in the office, so I turned to my supervisor and asked for her to translate to the weapons sensei that I wanted to watch. He nodded in response and I followed him and Vuzi upstairs. I introduced myself to him in Japanese and found out that his name was Miyazaki-sensei. The conversation stopped there as of course he did not speak English and my Japanese is still at the introductions only stage. In the upstairs gym (which is sweltering, due to no air con and the bloody heat and humidity of Kyushu province) we changed into our gym clothes and were given shinai (Kendo sticks) as Miyazaki-sensei seemed insistent I should participate rather than watch. We were then given a half hour lesson by some of the students (who’s English skills seemed only to cover “left”, “right” and “good”). Miyazaki-sensei also came over a few times and gave us some very serious and detailed pointers on Kendo in very beautiful and incomprehensible Japanese. I smiled and nodded a lot even though I had no idea what the hell he was saying. I had tried at first to show that I didn’t understand a single thing he said but eventually just gave up and listened respectfully. Luckily, the students demonstrated for us what he was talking about so we got the general gist of it. Soon however, the Kendo stopped and the students all went and got their katanas (Japanese swords) as Vuzi and I watched from the sidelines. After watching a few drills (with real katanas of course) I was hooked. I wanted to learn Iaido. I mean you have to picture this—here I am in Japan, in a huge hot gym with large windows overlooking a Zen garden, and these handsome and elegant kids are performing the most graceful moves with their Japanese swords as the sun shines over the mountain in the distance, glinting gently off their swords. Yeah. How could I not be hypnotized by that crap?? I mean it was actually a moving experience for me. Ok, ok, I know, cheesy. But really, it was quite amazing. After, we continued our Kendo lesson but it just didn’t feel the same. When I came back down to the teacher’s lounge and Inoue-sensei asked how the Kendo had been, I told her it was fun but that I wanted to do Iaido. She said she would ask Miyazaki-sensei if it was possible. Later when he came in, sure enough she asked something in Japanese and they both looked over at me. I got up and walked over to them. Miyazaki-sensei (who by the way is a very serious and stern type guy – looks like a samurai) looked at me grimly. As I asked again if I could do iaido instead of Kendo he seemed as if he wouldn’t let me. It looked like he thought I couldn’t handle it or something but I told him I was really interested. He paused a minute more as if appraising me, and then went to his desk and dug through some papers. He turned to me and gave me a diagram of a man sheathing and unsheathing a katana and then wordlessly left the room. I asked Inoue-sensei if she thought that meant he would teach me Iaido and she said she wasn’t sure. That maybe I would like to do Jodo (staff based martial art) instead. I shrugged and figured that jodo or Kendo weren’t bad and since Miyazaki-sensei is a 7th Dan in Kendo maybe that really would be best. It was now lunch time and Inoue-sensei took me and Vuzi along with Matsumae-san (who Inoue-sensei said had taken a liking to me….I guess she liked my half-assed Japanese after all) and we went to a curry restaurant! Yep, there is Indian food here. Actually there is pretty much everything here but I love my Indian food, and while this was a slightly Japanized version it was still really awesome. Afterwards, we returned to the school and I tried to use the shared computer to send out a few emails but felt guilty as the other teachers busily worked away. I can’t wait till I have the net at home! As the day was dragging on and I had now looked through most of the books that were left behind on my desk I was starting to get bored again. Suddenly, Tadakuma-sensei (the really nice younger, female English teacher) appeared and told me that Miyazaki-sensei had said I could come to the gym now and watch him practice iaido. I got up all excited and practically bounced along side her as we made our way back to the gym. By the time we got to the gym though I managed to contain my excitement and we entered somberly and quietly through the doors. The students had gone for the day and Miyazaki-sensei was by himself doing iaido forms. He was amazing. So focused. Each motion perfect. We sat quietly by and watched for half an hour or so. At the end of it, I asked Tadakuma-sensei to translate for me and tell him that he was great and that iaido is beautiful, and how Japan is beautiful, etc, etc (I was basically sucking up quite heavily, while trying to be all Japanese about it….I bowed a lot again, you can’t go wrong with bowing.). He then actually smiled at me and said something more in Japanese. Before Tadakuma-sensei could translate, Miyazaki-sensei had walked to the wall and grabbed a katana. He gave it to me in a bit of a ceremonial way (side note, they give everything here ceremonially…they give you change at supermarkets with both hands as they bow towards you) and I tried to accept it in somewhat the same way. Tadakuma-sensei translated that he said he would teach me. I tried hard to be all serious but inside I was beaming. He showed me how to sheathe and unsheathe the sword (in itself a difficult task) and then said to come to the gym on Monday at 9 am. I promised I would. We exchanged a few more bits of conversation via Tadakuma-sensei (he asked if I had done martial arts and I said I had a Shodan in Shotokan karate and had also practiced some Gojo-ryu) and during the course of this, he said that if I trained hard I could test for my Shodan in April! I was skeptical that I could get a black belt in under a year but he seemed quite adamant about this. I dunno if that’s actually possible, but how cool would that be? I left the gym feeling great and Tadakuma-sensei kept telling me I was so brave for wanting to do something like that (she had flinched heavily when during the demo Miyazaki-sensei had stopped his sword inches from my shoulder…I made a point of not reacting though a tiny bead of sweat formed on my forehead shortly afterwards). I told her I thought it was too cool to pass up. She still seemed impressed. In any case, the school day was done and it was now time to go home.
Back in my apartment I found out Tricia had come back home and as we were both hungry we decided to head out for some food and then to a bar that comes highly recommended by the other JETs in the area – Shin’s Bar Neon. We ended up eating in an adorable little coffee shop and just happened to run into Vuzi and Kayoko (a Japanese lady we had met on Wednesday night, and who is actually a preschool teacher). We asked them to join us at Shin’s and they agreed. Vuzi also went to get another South African JET and brought him back to the Bar. Shin’s is the cutest place I’ve been to so far in Japan! It’s tiny but has great atmosphere and awesome cocktails. Shin, the owner, is an awesome guy who speaks decent enough English for our purposes and likes all different kinds of music. He played 60’s rock, reggae, lounge, etc that night so I was in hippy heaven. The best part of the night though was meeting a Buddhist monk at the bar!! Lol, I dunno if some of you remember one of my goals while in Japan….hehe. I almost spat out my drink when he told me what he did for a living. He definitely did not look like any monk I’ve ever seen. He’d also had a few drinks when we started talking (yes, I’ve gotten into the habit of chatting up random Japanese people) and he was dressed in safari shorts and a really stylish, fitted t-shirt. When he asked me if I was a JET ALT I answered yes, and so decided to ask him what he did. When he said he was a monk I thought I had misunderstood as his English is not the best, but no, Shin confirmed it – Matsumoto is a monk. A big, happy, drunken Monk. He eventually joined the rest of our group for drinks and so basically I got wasted with a Buddhist monk. Did I mention that I love this country? I mean seriously, where else is it acceptable for even members of the clergy to get wasted?? I also chatted up Kayoko a little bit more and she ended up inviting me to her school for Japanese drumming classes. She also promised to take Trisha and I for a tour of Shimabara castle the next day, as she is a bit of a connoisseur of local history. Eventually the monk and Kayoko left, and us four JETs came back to Trisha’s apartment for more booze. Around 4 am I stumbled across the hall to my apartment and passed out thinking that coming here was one of the best decisions I had ever made. Although, I’m not sure my liver would agree……