Joy and Promise of a Ripened Cherry....

So I have completely crazy but hilarious friends. Sometimes when life just gets a bit boring I can always count on someone to send me an email/message/comment that thrills, confuses, or outright makes me laugh. Since I have nothing of importance to write today I thought that I'd post a part of a recent email that a friend of mine sent to me. I should point out that she used to be a sweet, innocent, happy girl when I first met her.....however, as with all such poor unfortunates that cross my path, I feel that I have brought out a bit of the dark side in her. It hasn't been a productive month unless I've corrupted at least one innocent....

Anywho, this is what she wrote:

"i enjoy a nice baileys and milk and wish i had a nice midget to serenade me with his fiddle whilst i sip on the said baileys and milk, staring into the fireplace at my side, wondering why in japan there`s 3 kanji for ocean. I would like him to dance...with occasional aero-dynamic flips thrown into the mix for good measure...with as much joy and promise as a rippened cherry.

But really, im not a lesbian (my comment: I don't know how this is related....)

But i do like to wrestle. In fact, I think a mud wrestling tournament is in order. A couple tarps, some baby`s shampoo mixed with grade a sludge...hell, why dont we throw in some fluffy sheep for good measure. Nothing`s funnier than a little mud-covered pile of wool dodging mud wrestlers. Really, can u imagine...that shit would be hilarious! Dont give me that shit about animals rights. Pussy.

anways...maybe i can learn to be offensive. Maybe i can say fuck your mother and really mean it. like, really want someone to fuck her hard and good (my comment: this is my favourite part of the email). or maybe not...because we all know what her offspring looks like, and we sure as hell dont want that to happen again. so i take it back."