The Odds and Ends

Wow, I can’t believe I’ve already been in Japan for almost five months! It’s amazing how quickly I got used to life here, even though I still occasionally wake up and think to myself “damn, I’m in Japan? How did this happen?”

My birthday has passed and it’s also nearing Christmas time. My brother and sister (Tomo and Tina) are coming today so I’m going to Nagasaki to pick them up! I can’t wait! We’re gonna travel around Japan starting with the Shimabara area, then on to Fukuoka, Osaka, Kyoto and finally Tokyo. I haven’t been to Osaka or Kyoto yet so it should be interesting. More than anything though, I just can’t wait to see my siblings! I’m really close to both of them so it’s gonna be nice to see them after all this time.

Well on that note, since the year is ending, and I’m going to be mad busy for the next little while, this will probably be my last entry for the year 2005. As such, I thought I would write down a few reflections, observations, and general comments on my life in Japan so far, as well as life in general. I promise it’s not going to be cheesy. Well…..ahem, not too cheesy anyway – a little cheese is warranted now and then, especially during the season of loving, caring, giving and sharing.

First of all, a list of the good things:

-I love how everything in Japan has cute little animated characters on it. Take for example my bank card. Far from being serious and business like, it has a picture of a plump, adorable raccoon with sad eyes sitting in a field. I don’t know why the raccoon is sad. Maybe it has body issues, being so plump in the lean society of Japan. In any case, you can find the raccoon on everything that has to do with my bank. He makes me smile, because I am easily pleased by adorable things that are prone to depression.

-I find it hilarious that 18 year old macho boys in High School have Winnie the Pooh pencil cases and cover them with shiny stickers of various adorable cartoon characters, and then try to front like they’re thugs. It kills me!

-I love how the customer service in Japan is AMAZING! Tipping is just not done here, and can be even considered insulting, so the fact that everyone is so helpful is even more remarkable given that fact. In addition, no customers create problems – you don’t see anyone sending food back, nor complaining that something is not well done, or that they want more of this, less of that, etc etc. Those type things are considered rude, because its presumed that the person helping you is doing their best and if something is off it’s not their fault but rather a fact of life.

This leads to one of my hugest pet peeves about North American society – everyone feels they are entitled to everything back home. I have worked in jobs that required me to deal with customers, and I found it to be one of the most frustrating things ever. Some people just won’t listen to reason! They felt like they are right no matter what, and only worry about their own selfish needs. In many ways, I think that many people in North American society have forgotten how to behave towards each other as decent, considerate human beings. That’s not true of everyone of course, but I know that I would witness at least one instance of a customer abusing some poor employee that had done nothing wrong during any given day. It drove me insane. At the same time, there are times when this treatment is warranted because the customer service is not always the best back home. It works both ways. Of all the things about Japan that I like, the way that people treat each other is probably my favourite thing, and the thing I will miss the most when I return to Canada. Hmmm…sorry, this is supposed to be the list of good things, so moving on….

-I love that in Japan there are pictures on almost everything! Instructions for food, technology, toilets, menus etc., all tend to have pictures showing what to do, or what’s for sale. This makes it really easy to get by without any Japanese reading ability.

-Nomihodais! All you can drink for a fixed (usually low) price….hahaha, poor bastards didn’t know I was coming to their country!

-My Iaido instructor: The funniest man in the world. I adore this guy despite lack of verbal communication between us. He’s 60 and has spikey hair. His favourite outfit is a pair of hot pink tights and a large purple sweater. Its freezing but he always wear only sandals…which he is quick to point out to me as I shiver uncontrollably in the cold. He bought me special slippers for morning practice because I was whining about my feet being cold. He also makes really funny sounds and he loves to drink. What’s not to love??

-Jenny: my best foreigner friend. I am only alive today thanks to the body heat generated by this chick from Detroit. She may look sweet and innocent, but tell her teasingly that she smells like poon one too many times and she’ll launch out an Anchorman-like tirade of insults guaranteed to keep me laughing for hours. She also likes to yell loudly at Japanese girls on the street and then laughs at their terrified ducks for cover – hehe, yes, I would like to think that I’ve been a negative influence on her.

-Kayoko: Favourite Japanese person! She’s so cool. She lived in Spain and the States and doesn’t like the rigidity of Japanese society. She’s also one of the nicest people ever and she’s a ton of fun. She’s the only Japanese person I’ve met so far whom I could tell everything about me to (and we all know how sordid that is, even to westerners) without having her pass out, run away, or call the police on me.

The Bad:

-It’s a little annoying when every time I pick up chopsticks I’m bombarded by “Hashi de josu desu ne!” (Wow, you’re so good with chopsticks!). This makes me feel like a complete moron, especially since I’ve been here 5 months. I mean, firstly, I used chopsticks before I came here, but even if that were not the case it would have been pretty sad if I couldn’t pick it up in the 5 months that I’ve been here, since I do use them everyday.

-The other annoying compliment: “Oh! Your Japanese is so good!”. It’s not. I can introduce myself, order food and ask for directions to the toilet. I hear get this compliment when I say ‘hello’ in Japanese for god’s sake. I just find it highly condescending, although I’m sure the speaker is intending to be nice.

-When I’m tired or hung-over or both, and I just wanna go relax in a hot Onsen, it’s really annoying (as I’m lying naked in the baths) when little old Japanese women won’t leave me alone with questions of “Doko kara kimashita?” (“Where are you from?”). I mean seriously. Do they ALL need to know where I am from? I tell them I can’t speak Japanese and yet still they persist. Sometimes it’s nice, but mostly it’s just annoying.

-Japanese TV. Oh my dear lord, it is the worst programming in the world. I don’t think I can even explain it. If you’ve seen it, you will understand. If you haven’t, I will spare you the agony and allow you the bliss of ignorance.

Reflections:

So, am I glad I came? I had my doubts as I sat on the plane leaving for Japan those many months ago. However, the doubts have all vanished. At first, I was having an amazing time and it felt as if I was on constant vacation. Now, I have settled in to my life here and in many ways it’s as normal as my life back home was. There are good days, and there are bad days. For the most part though, I am still having a great time and learning a lot. I will stay another year for sure, because my Iaido and Jodo are progressing really well and I don’t want to lose the valuable opportunity that I have to develop my martial skills. My Japanese is also coming along, very slowly, but nonetheless surely. In two years it should be more than functional, and that’s a great skill to have.

The toughest thing by far has been missing friends and family from home. Even though I have found people here whom I can talk to, party with and so forth, I still miss the unique group of friends I have in Toronto. I also really miss my siblings, since I am so damn close to both of them, and that has been hard. Especially because they have both been having a bit of a tough year, and I wanted to be there for them. I guess we are all learning to deal on our own though.

So as the year comes to a close, and I get ready to reunite with my family for an adventure across the Land of the Rising Sun, I want to let everyone back home reading this know that I love you all and I miss you all, and I hope you are having a great time doing whatever it is that you are doing. I can’t wait to see you all next summer and I’m sure we’ll all have many interesting stories to tell each other. God, I finally feel like I have left adolescence for adulthood. I am, after all, a quarter century old now. I have mixed feelings about that, but then again ‘mixed feelings’ seems to be my life story. However, so many things that used to keep me awake at night no longer bother me anymore. I have finally accepted myself in all my weirdness and I think that I no longer have to be as hard on myself as I used to be.

What a strange, wonderful, and life changing year 2005 has been. I can’t wait to see what 2006 throws my way, and for the first time I mean that without any sarcasm at all. Shit, I really have changed!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Guys! Mad, mad love to everyone. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Carlos and me at Unzen Izakaya for our Bdays. 

The reason I look so scared (er, excited?) is because Jenny has her hand on my leg.... 

Posing with the chopstick penis that Jenny made for me....hmmmm.... 

Me with Tsuruta-sensei and Kayoko. 

The Birthday Three. Me (center) posing with the other birthday peeps (Shin on left, Carlos on right).  

Quarter Century...

So my 25^th birthday has come and gone and now I am a quarter century old. I have never really cared much about birthdays, and often prefer not to even celebrate them but usually am forced to anyways. I always bitch about if beforehand, but usually end up having an amazing time. This year though, since I just moved to Japan five months ago, I was fully expecting that the event would go unnoticed. Certain new friends of mine, however, had other plans and insisted that I have a party of some kind. So I did. It just so happened that Carlos, another JET from Canada, also had a birthday close to the same time as me so we decided to celebrate together. I have to say that the night served to showcase, among other things, that I have certainly met some very, very awesome people in Japan. As a result, the night was awesome! My ass hurt from repeated spankings by individuals who shall remain nameless, and as always I managed to get quite tanked and belligerent. Lucky for me I have tolerant friends.

In any case, I don’t wanna get too cheesy so I am going to stop writing this post now before I say something too out of character, but I will just say that I am really, really feeling the love.

I will post pics soon....but in the meantime see below for pics of some cute ass Japanese children.

How cute are these two?? 

The tea ceremony house. 

Inside the tea ceremony. 

Kayoko and the kids! 

Wesley and I making mochi balls... 

It's a shopping cart of babies! Awwww 

I took a break and sat down, but soon was surrounded by some little girls with interesting ideas on beauty and hair design..... 

Don't I look purdy? Leaves in my hair....flour on my face. This here be marriageing material.... 

Kayoko and Wesley trying their hand at Mochi pounding 

Jenny got a little dirty despite trying her best to avoid the floury hands of the little children. 

Me and the kids after a long day of mochi pounding. Damn, I am friggin tired.... 

Kayoko's Kids and Tea Ceremony

Kayoko’s Kids

Last Saturday I woke up early to go play with kids. Kayoko had invited Jenny and me to her preschool for mochi pounding (making a doughy type food out of rice). It was so much fun! The kids were adorable, although exhausting, and overall it was a good day. It did get a little messy….but that’s just part of the joy of children, I guess. At the end, the principal of the preschool insisted we stay for lunch, and we had some great Japanese food with the teachers and parents who had come to the school that day. I realized as well, a bit to my dismay, that I have suddenly become very fond of children. I kept thinking how nice it would be to have a kid, and had to stop myself suddenly each time this hated thought popped into my head. I have too much to do still and I’m only 24. I don’t want children till I’m over 30 for sure. I guess my biological clock is trying to push the issue though, but I will not let it win! Damn you ovaries, you are not going to fertilize anything anytime soon – just accept it!

That night, another friend of ours named Yoko had agreed to show Jenny, Carlos (another JET from Vancouver) and I how to make some basic Japanese dishes, and the idea was to have a nice little dinner party afterwards (somebody tell me, what is my life turning into – dinner parties? Me??). However, Yoko’s significant other came as well, so it ended up being Yoko, Jenny and Carlos in the kitchen, and me and the boyfriend drinking wine and shooting the shit in the living room. I am such a man sometimes. The food was great though, and all together we had a nice quiet dinner party. I passed out happily at midnight – ah the days of staying up till dawn dancing at some random Toronto nightclub seem so long, long ago now.

Tea Ceremony

Woke up early. Again. When did I start waking up early on weekends? I love sleeping in, so I don’t know how I keep agreeing to these things that force me to squander my precious weekend sleeping time.

Today I had agreed to go to a tea ceremony with Fumi and Jenny. Fumi is the lady who’s amazing enough to teach me Japanese for free. We went to two ceremonies in one day, which is a bit unusual. In one, we got to sit in proper chairs and be served. For the other though, it was traditional style so we had to sit in seiza (sitting on your knees, with your legs tucked under you) the whole time. I have a fair bit of experience with seiza, since I practice martial arts, but the tea ceremony is still the most grueling example of what sitting on your legs for a long time can do to you. For the first few minutes, it feels ok, but this is a short-lived feeling. Next is mild discomfort. Then the pain starts in. After that, if you have good mental fortitude, you survive to the next stage – tingling. Following tingling is complete and utter numbness. You feel as if you have no legs. You raise yourself a little bit or shift around a tad, and can now feel greatly disturbed as you marvel at the fact that it seems as if your legs don’t exist from the knee down.

If you manage to get past all that and continue on further still, at the end of the ceremony you get to make a fool of yourself by trying to stand up and finding that your legs will not in fact support you, causing you to fall over or remain helplessly slumped on the floor, unable to move until someone helps you. The first time I did this I fell right over and had to have my legs massaged back to life. This time though, I learned a little trick from one of the Sensei’s I work with – before getting up, turn your toes down, and lean back on them hard a few times. I don’t know how, but this works! I tried it this time and was actually able to get up with only minimal pain and discomfort. It wasn’t pretty, but it didn’t end up with me lying prostrate on my back in front of the dignified tea master either. Jenny did really well considering it was her first time, and only required minimal assistance in getting up.

I am definitely getting a lot more used to sitting on the floor in general though. My feet used to fall asleep so easily, but it takes much longer now, even when I’m in seiza. Sometimes I even prefer sitting on the floor to sitting in chairs now. It’s strange, but it sorta makes you feel more in touch with your surroundings when you sit on the floor. Maybe I’ll keep it up when I get back home…..

I also really love the tea they give us at tea ceremonies. It’s a special kind of green tea that is really high in vitamin C and other things, and so is super good for you. There are all these rules to follow for drinking the tea (like turning you cup a certain amount of times, drinking from it 3 times, making a sound at the end, etc) but that’s what makes it so much fun. It really does teach you patience, and leaves you with a sense of peace. Although, perhaps that’s just from all the endorphins released into your blood stream as a result of the pain. Hmm…

The Marathon

A few days ago we had the school Marathon, and it was the first day that I really felt the differences between Canadian and Japanese High Schools in a negative way. So far, I had found the differences fascinating, and I often found myself thinking how much better some things are here than back home. Today was a little different.

First of all, all of the students have to run in the marathon. No matter how fat, out of shape they are, or whatever. They train for two weeks prior to the event, and I even went with the students on a short practice run (during which I finished last, and almost died but stubbornly refused to stop because the hot girl gym teacher was watching and I wasn’t about to let her see how out of shape I was). Most of the kids are in pretty good shape, since PhysEd is mandatory here, but there were still a few plumpers here and there.

The marathon was run on a fairly cold day, and the kids had to run a damn long time, and up towards the mountain. First though, they had to walk from the school to the starting line (about a 30 minute walk). As we were waiting for all the students to arrive (the teachers had driven up) my JTE explained to me that the gym teachers were all nervous because each year all across Japan some student inevitably dies in a marathon. This sounded pretty damn horrible to me! I mean, why force them to run if they are not able or really don’t want to do it? And they all have to finish too, because it’s shameful if they don’t, since individual scores count towards the overall team score for each grade.

In any case, the far more disturbing thing I saw that day was some of the kids get physically punished – harshly. Four of the students were late by about 3 minutes, or something minor like that. Two boys and two girls. They were all made to kneel and the old male gym teacher in charge started yelling at them and hitting them with a backhand across the face, hard. And when I say hard, I mean HARD. He hit the boys so hard that they fell over, and he kept on hitting them and screaming for about 5 minutes, and all this took place in front of the entire school. By the end, all four kids were crying. I couldn’t watch. After the first hit where the boy fell over, I turned my head away. I could still clearly hear each smack hit home though. In the end, the students were not seriously hurt, but it was still hard for me to accept that this happens regularly. It’s not my place to judge another society, and it’s true that those students will likely not be late again for a really, really long time, but it still made me uncomfortable.

As the marathon proceeded, I cheered the students as they arrived at the finish line and more than a few of the girls in my classes collapsed in my arms from sheer exhaustion. One girl had to be carried away on a stretcher, and was later taken to hospital, although she was all right the next day. These kids don’t have it easy, that’s for sure. However, while some of the things that happen here offend my western sensibilities, I can’t help but notice that it makes the Japanese people that much stronger in the end. Since Japanese society generally seems to work well, I assume that the harshness of the school system does not have any terrible effects on the kids overall. And let’s face it, the school system in Canada is sometimes way too lax.

Well guys, looks like I got a bit behind again with updating....but I will put up some more posts as well as some adorable pics of school kids over the weekend. Tomo and Tina are almost here! Woo hoo!

The Japanese obsession with vending machines goes too far....

On our way to Nagasaki for Xmas shopping recently, we passed by a little hut with neon writing by the side of the road. I wondered what it was and Jenny told me that another friend of hers had said it was a porn shack. Elaborating further Jenny explained to my innocent self, that this was in fact a little shack where there were several vending machines selling pornographic videos and accessories. It was supposed to be more anonymous since there was no seller in the shop – just you and the machines.

Curiosity got the better of me and so on the way back I insisted that we check it out. It was dirty! The best part of it though was the USED woman’s thongs and underwear that is sold in little boxes. Yes, used underwear from a vending machine – only in Japan. I love it!

It also occurred to me while in the shack that if porn purchasing was made more anonymous in North America even more people would buy it…..especially if they wanted something a little kinkier, like used underwear. Hmmm…business ideas are developing in my head everyday.

Shopping in Nagasaki was fun. I think Nagasaki is growing on me actually. At first I found it too cramped and confusing and not nearly as fun as Fukuoka, but now I’m getting used to it. At the last conference in Nag a few weeks ago I actually had a lot of fun. Conferences are always so rough though since everyone from further away gets together and inevitably goes out drinking at a nomihodai (all you can drink). Of course, we have to wake up early the next day, so day 2 of the conference is always spent nursing a hangover and trying not to puke or laugh at various points throughout the day. It’s worth it in any case since the conferences are so damn boring.

Also, Nagasaki is really beautiful at night. It’s got a really quaint charm, especially at the wharf, where you can sit by the water and enjoy the reflection of the lights. Fukuoka may be way more fun, and have more amenities, but it is also essentially a modern city. Nagasaki on the other hand, has a much more historical feel to it that I am learning to slowly appreciate.

Anyways, back to the porn shack….

In the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farmland, sits a run down but innocuous looking shack......what awaits us inside? 

Yep, DVD porn from a vending machine.....ah Japan...land of marvels.  

Used women's underwear sold for your sniffing and fondling pleasure..... 

Wow, this is one dirty ass shack. I have to go shower now... 

Sheepy goodness

If there is a sheep within a ten kilometer radius I will find it and molest it. Recently I got to go to a petting zoo and do just that. Let me explain. Jenny works in an agricultural high school in Shimabara. This means that her school has cows, horses, sheep, goats, dogs, pigs, and a tonne of other cool barnyard animals. In fact, the school is famous because recently one of its cows was awarded the “most beautiful cow in Nagasaki Prefecture” award. Everyone was very proud, and I am not even joking.

In any case, Jenny’s school had a fair to showcase its various plants and animals, and so, swayed by the promise of sheep, I decided to go. Why I wonder, was I put in a commercial high school? I should have put on my application how much I loved barnyard animals. Then perhaps I would have had Jenny’s job and she mine. Ah well, its probably for the best – if I worked at her school I’d probably skip class to go play with the sheep and so thus wouldn’t be all that effective at my job.

Anywho, I love sheep. I really do. I don’t know why but there is just something endearing about them. So trusting, so gentle and yet somehow seemingly sarcastic. Also, they love me. I ended up leaving the Agricultural fair with a bunch of plants and having touched a great many animals. I also bought some cheap vegetables and cooked that evening. Sweet potato stir fry it was and it was pretty damn good. My cooking repetoire is actually expanding. Although I guess when all you know how to make are scrambled eggs, there is nowhere to go but up…..

See? The chemistry is palpable. I touched its sheepy head and it smiled serenly in my direction. 

I dunno who's freaking out who here.... 

Ah! The beauty that is sheep....so elegant, so graceful, so thoughtful. What are you thinking about my little wooly friend? Stay awhile, have a snifter of brandy and tell me your sad tale... 

I'm thankful for wine.....and Jenny.

Last night was American and Japanese Thanksgiving so we had a day off. As it turns out though Japanese people don’t do any of the traditional Thanksgiving stuff like back in North America, but rather they all just go shopping. Feeling a little homesick lately, Jenny and I decided that we would not follow the Japanese way, but would rather organize our own little Thanksgiving feast and invite people from nearby to her place for dinner, which we were going to cook (I was a little scared – cooking utensils tend to hiss at me as I walk by. They know I don’t like them and they sure as hell don’t like me.)

I should point out that lately I’ve been spending most of my free time in Shimabara with Jenny, who’s from Detroit. I find it amusing that we are actually so different and likely would not have become friends had we met in North America, but ironically get along really well. In case you’re wondering why I say we wouldn’t have become friends back home, let me just explain that Jenny is that all-American, freshly pretty, popular, I-dated-the-captain-of-the-Football-team type girl. At least seemingly. As for me, well I think that bringing up whips, chains, gay porn and drug experimentation is perfectly normal and acceptable in everyday conversation while on the other hand saying things like “I love you, friend” makes me incredibly ill to my stomach. When we first met I think I frequently scared Jenny, but she eventually got over it. Not that she has much choice – we can’t stand a lot of people around here, and the ones that we do like are currently busy with other things. I have managed to corrupt Jenny a little though, as I so often tend to do with nice, sweet, wholesome people, and I swear she’s more sarcastic than I am now sometimes. To her credit however, I think it might be working the other way around as well, as I sat through her saying grace and even gave thanks last night (albeit with an eye twitch). Yeah, it was a stretch, and physically painful for me, but I did it. Hey Jeebus, that’s gotta count for somethin’ right?

Anyway, we had this whole dinner planned but people all had plans already and a lot of people from further away were too broke to make it here so it ended up being just the two of us. We made the best of it though and ended up having a pretty nice night.

It’s really cold here now as well, I must point out since there is no central heating. As a result I try not to sleep alone as much as possible. I love human body heat. That is another big factor in bonding with Jenny as well, come to think of it. Survival is a powerful motivator, my friends and while Jenny and I tried to be strong and reserved at first, we have now discarded normal standards of personal space and comfort and frequently huddle together beside a small stove shuddering and holding each other in a desperate attempt to stay warm. There is no heating in our schools either. Even though it’s not so cold outside, it’s still too cold for my sensitive self. It’s positively torturous when you’re sitting indoors and it’s the same temperature as outside and you feel like you need gloves just so that your hands don’t cramp at the keyboard. If I could, I’d carry a large electric blanket with me everywhere. As it is I just stand really close to people. Ah well, they already think I’m weird, why not just add to the pile of evidence? It’s worth it for that extra kilojoule of heat, and the uncomfortable facial expressions provide me with hours of fun. Hey I don’t have access to gay porn anymore – I gotta amuse myself somehow.

The Thanksgiving feast....consisting of mashed potatoes, salad, white wine garlic lemon chicken....and of course, lots wine. 

I was already half drunk (as usual) so I kept refilling Jenny's glass. She was suspicious. Why don't people trust me when I keep pouring them drinks?