Misadventures in Japan: October 2005

Sports Day Enkai.....aka, the Samurai approach to drinking and I've already got my Black Belt.

Monday, Sept. 5, 2005

So last night I had my first official Enkai (school/office drinking party) with all the teachers from Shimasho. Yesterday was also Sports Day at Shimasho so I had spent the whole day in the sweltering heat watching the poor students competing at various activities. Actually I have to say I was quite impressed. They really put a lot of effort into the whole day. I mean they set up tents and chairs for people to watch, they had iced tea that was passed out to the audience, there was a loudspeaker soundsystem, etc. All in all it was pretty cool to watch and it felt like a serious event more than a High School activity day. The kids were really serious and organized as well. I pictured a Canadian High School trying to do what they had done and I have to admit I couldn’t imagine it (well I could imagine it but it wadn’t pretty). I guess collectivist cultures have their advantages, although some facets can seem a bit scary to those of us from individualist ones. For example, a few days ago we had “Inspection Day”. For this, the students had to line up in the gym and their hair and uniforms were thoroughly inspected by the teachers (they gave me name-tag duty….but since it was all in kanji I was pretty useless – that’s the Japanese sense of humour for ya). They are really picky too. For hair, there can be no highlights or artificial colour, no matter how subtle. The bangs also have to be a specific length. One girl started crying when they yelled at her for having some barely noticeable highlights. I have to admit, the whole thing made me a bit uneasy, but of course, I was raised in Canada. I felt bad for the girl, but she got over it soon enough so I didn’t feel the need to start any serious social activism at that time.
In any case, back to Sports Day. Once the day was done we had to help take down all the equipment and by that time everyone was exhausted. We had been there the whole day (since it was on a Sunday, I had today off) and had been fairly active in the heat. However, rather than go home we had to go to a huge Enkai. This was Vuzi’s and mine official welcoming party. Inoue-sensei took us to the hotel where it was to take place and explained that the place had Onsens (hot spring baths) both inside and outside. I hadn’t been to an Onsen yet so Inoue-sensei warned me that everyone walks around totally naked and bathes together naked (but the sexes are separated of course). I wasn’t too worried (most of you already know how much I enjoy being naked) so I stripped and hopped in. It was awesome. I chose the outside bath and it had a gorgeous view. Afterwards, I felt refreshed and ready for the heavy drinking that I knew was coming.
After Kocho-Sensei, Vuzi and I gave our speeches (sometimes it feels like all I do is give speeches on how great it is to be in Japan) we sat down for a traditional meal. I’m getting used to these by now. I ate all my raw fish this time (I still don’t love it but I can eat it) and pretty much everything else that was given to me. Funny enough I actually really like cooked fish now. I did NOT see that one coming let me tell ya, but I’m pretty ecstatic when anything cooked comes my way these days. After the food, people move around to sit, chat and drink with different people. Again, you have to pour for others and cannot pour for yourself but handing someone a glass and pouring a drink is a great way to start a conversation. Having some booze in them, some of the teachers who have been too shy to speak to me finally came over to try to chat. Some spoke a bit of English but others did not. It wasn’t too much of a problem for me though. It’s amazing how much laughter can be generated when you try to communicate solely through sign language and acting. I also got to meet some of the younger teachers. I was really excited to meet a hot young chemistry teacher who spoke amazing English…but later realized he was married, so I had to tone down my overt flirting a bit. Ah well, I am slowly surrendering to my forced celibacy.
Eventually, just as I was starting to feel a bit buzzed, I felt a strong pat on my shoulder and looked up to see Miyazaki-sensei (my Iaido/Jodo teacher) standing over me with a bottle of sake. He motioned for me to move over and sat down beside me (well he actually somewhat plopped down beside me). I have to say I am growing more and more fond of him every day. Still amazes me how well we communicate despite the language barrier. It’s like we’re on the same wavelength. I guess Martial Arts and Alcoholism are powerful bonding tools. He gave me a little glass and poured me a shot of sake. I drank it down in one gulp and passed it back to him and then poured him a shot. After a few rounds of this I was starting to get a bit worried at how I was going to feel the next day but being the (ahem) man I am sometimes….my pride kept me drinking as long as he was pouring. He laughed his ass off at my attitude too (at each drink I furrowed my brows in concentration, and did practiced breathing exercises in an attempt to keep myself from passing out) and through gestures and some Engrish explained to me that he liked my spirit. I beamed, but I do sometimes fear for my delicate femininity – we were comparing biceps a few drinks later. I did have the thought though that if he had been 20 years younger he’d be in big trouble because he is by far my favorite person in the school and at 65 he’s still pretty damn handsome (and well, you know, I was also getting drunk). After about 5 shots of sake, Inoue-sensei, who was sitting nearby, looked over at us and said to me that perhaps I should be careful and slow down (Japanese people never say stuff like “Slow down!” they always make things into suggestions like “Hmmm, maybe it would be better if you slowed down”). I shrugged, but Miyazaki-sensei (who had only just then realized that Inoue-sensei was sitting nearby) thrust the shot glass in her direction and poured her a drink. Inoue-sensei is not the type of person to say no to a drink either (I think it’s a matter of pride for her as well, working in a male dominated society and all that) and so soon all three of us were drinking quite profusely, with Inoue-sensei shooting me desperate and apologetic glances between shots. Finally Uchida-sensei came to our rescue and took Miyazaki sensei away for drinking with some of the men. Thank god for my high alcohol tolerance, because even after all that I was still ok and I was still drinking beer. Moreover, everyone was so impressed at how much I could drink that I made a ton of new friends. I know I’ve said it before, but wow do I love this country. I didn’t expect it to be as good as it has been and it’s been absolutely amazing so far. Plus, my drinking actually impresses rather than concerns people here!
In any case, after the enkai was done, most of the female teachers went home, but the older men (the younger ones were passed out) wanted to continue. Kocho-sensei and Miyazaki-sensei cornered me and insisted that I was coming with them. So we made our way (by reserved bus) to a really classy bar. Of course this resulted in much more drinking, and while I was still managing to act sober and contained my mind was now telling me that I was going to really regret this tomorrow. I didn’t care. It was way too much fun. The highlight was showing Kocho-sensei an Iaido kata and using chopsticks in place of a katana, which was followed by a short lesson from Miyazaki-sensei who also used a chopstick to demonstrate attacks. This quickly degenerated into drunken chopstick dueling. As the two of us cut away at the air and laughed and made jokes (again all in sign language), Uchida-sensei said that there was a name for the kind of bond Miyazaki-sensei and I had (Hmmm..."retarded alcoholics"? I thought). I forgot what word he actually used though, but he translated it as “more than love”. I considered this and thought it pretty apt. Miyazaki-sensei, however, took the opportunity of me pausing to slip in a fast chopstick thrust, thus ending our battle victorious. The night ended with a bit of karaoke (I sang “girls just wanna have fun”) where I sucked ass, but then so did everyone else. I was complimented on my pronunciation though – ah Japan.
I finally came home just after midnight (the drinking had started at 6 pm) and passed out soundly on my bed, knowing full well that tomorrow I was to have the worst hangover yet. I woke up in the morning in all kinds of pain, clutching a chopstick in my right hand.

Life is a beach, biatch!

Today we set off for some sand and surf at a nearby beach. Well when I say nearby, I mean about an hours drive away from Shimabara. The only person with a car was Vusi so we had to fit 5 people into the tiniest two door K-car I have ever seen. It was also, yet another ridiculously hot-ass day in Kyushu, so us three girls sitting in the back seat were basically stuck to each other and struggling to breathe by the end of the ride (yes, yes, I know you guys out there reading this are probably enjoying yourself imagining three girls in bikinis sitting on top of each other, all hot and sweaty….trust me, it wasn’t all that much fun….and I normally enjoy those types of things). Luckily, cold seawater awaited us at then end of our journey and we all tripped over ourselves trying to get into the water as quickly as possible. The beach was beautiful! I will post some pics that I have…..but there aren’t too many (probably because I tried to claw the eyes out of anyone who took a picture that contained any part of my body in a tightass tankini). It was a great day for swimming and the water was cold and neither too calm, nor too turbulent. The beach had a sort of New Zeleand-Lord of the Rings type feel to it – huge cliff on one side, and mountains off in the distance, so I have to say its one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever been to. Also, the friendliness of the Japanese manifested itself again, as we were offered free beer and free food from fellow beach occupants. The only bad thing about the day was some sleazy ass staring from a non-japanese guy who kept coming too close to us girls and virtually putting his crown and jewels in our faces as we sat sunning ourselves. *Shudder*. Luckily there was plenty of water to wash off the dirty feeling.

We're dying of the heat in the back seat of Vusi's car......thank god there's cold sea water awaiting us.....

The walk up to the beach.....

The beach at last!

C'mon.....you gotta admit it looks like Hawaii....

Ok people. This is the only time you are going to see me in a bathing suit for a long while. The only reason I even put this picture in is because the beach and adjoining cliff are too beautiful to omit.

The ladies working on their tans....

Ahhh....a beautiful beach with cold sea water on a hot day. What more could anyone ask for?

Taking the long way to Fukuoka.....

Having left Nagasaki (but not our hangovers) behind, we continued along the road to Fukuoka. Once again, we had no map, but luckily the signs were pretty clear and one hour into the trip, we were making decent time. However, we were also driving on small country roads that swerved sharply and caused my companions (I was driving….so those of you back home can imagine the terror experienced by the others) to frequently make little gasping noises or outright screams of terror. I just wanted to get there as fast as possible, and I was gonna be damned if any road curves were gonna stop me. However, partly in the interest of safety….but mostly to ease the minds of the others, we finally agreed to pay the toll fee (about $20) and get on the highway. Now we could cruise in style on a roomy, straight, two lane road at the mind blowing speed of 80 km/h. Yes folks. That seemed to be as fast as my little K-car would go. Other bigger white plate cars were tauntingly passing us by, and I was getting antsy from the fact that back home I usually drive about 140 km/h on the highways. Ah well. The ride was beautiful though, so soon I just accepted the fact that this was gonna take a while. An hour and a half later, we were still surprisingly making good time and were maybe another hour and a half away from Fukuoka when suddenly the car trouble started.

I should point out that the whole time the car had sounded a little iffy. I mean it’s not a big car and we had it loaded with four people and four bags so that it was pretty stuffed. Also, it made weird noises when I tried to push it past 80 km/h so I kept it under that. Now, however, I could smell something burning and I wasn’t getting all that much response from the gas pedal. I looked over at Kara and asked her if she smelled smoke and she nodded and then pointed at the hood. It looked like smoke was coming from the front. Shit, I thought. Not now! Not in Japan in the middle of nowhere with no one in the car speaking Japanese!!

I pulled the car over onto the shoulder and as soon as we came to a stop I could see that quite a lot of smoke was coming out of the front. Double shit! Kara and Nicole (who apparently know a fair bit about cars) pointed to the little gauge on the dash that shows engine temperature and it seemed to be indicating the car was seriously overheated. They both agreed we needed to wait for the car to cool down and then had to put water in to it. We had been waiting no more than 5 minutes when a road side assistance truck pulled up to us. Ah, the efficiency of the Japanese! We were in the middle of nowhere, had not called for help, and no cars had passed us for quite a while now, and here were these two emergency workers ready to help us out. They inspected the car and left us a huge thing of water and said to pour it in when it cooled (just as the girls had said) and said we should be fine. We thanked them and started the half an hour wait. Finally we poured the water in and were off again. Fifteen minutes later same thing started to happen again – I was now carefully watching the heating gauge and noticed it go into the red. We didn’t know what was happening. We had to do the same thing again (wait and pour water), drive 10 more minutes, and stop AGAIN. We did this like 10 times. Each time the car made it less further than before and the conclusion was that our water cooling pipe thing had a leak of some sort. Now we had no way of getting help and I couldn’t call the car rental company since I didn’t speak Japanese and we had all left the numbers of our supervisors back in Shimabara (yes, smart, smart). We kept about this for about 2 - 3 hours (!) before we made it to a smallish city and stopped at a gas station. We tried to explain the problem but they couldn’t help. The guy did hose down the whole engine with cold water though so that the car could make it a bit further. At this point it was about midnight and we were all tired as shit, starving, and sweaty, sticky and smelled pretty bad. We no longer cared about getting to Fukuoka but just wanted to find a hotel to shower and sleep in. But, bad news struck again. The gas station guys explained to us that there were no hotels nearby. It looked like we were in some industrial type area, and even though there were buildings everywhere, apparently the only hotels were love hotels. I conferred with the girls. We were all so irritated, gross and exhausted that we agreed even a love hotel was better than nothing, so we asked the now amused and somewhat embarrassed attendants for directions. The area we were in was highly confusing, and as we drove further and further we noticed that we were in a bigger city now. We realized we were completely lost and had still not found the hotel, while the car was quickly overheating again. Desperately looking for a hotel sign of any kind we finally saw, as if from the Heavens, ‘hotel’ was written in katakana along the side of one large building and right next to it was a large parking lot. Desperately, we dumped the car and dragged our asses into the hotel. As luck would have it, it was a business hotel (thankfully not a love hotel) and so was both very clean and reasonably priced. For the first time that day, we had some luck, as the reception was supposed to close at 12:30 am and we had arrived around 1 am to an attendant who just happened to be working late. She also spoke English. As she gave us our rooms keys the four of us almost burst into tears of relief. We also asked her for a map of the area to see where we were, and as it turns out, we had made it into downtown Fukuoka – just a few subway stops away from the city center! I actually did cry a little at that point and almost grabbed and kissed the receptionist (but was afraid she’d take away my room key and I wasn’t gonna risk that).

Wordlessly, the four of us stumbled upstairs and into our separate rooms and I could hear the other three doors slam followed by the sound of bodies thudding onto beds. After I had showered the grime from my body though, I heard a knock on my door and there was Nicole looking exhausted but determined. We had come all that way to party and while there was no way we could make it to a club that night, the least we could do was grab some beers and check out our surroundings. So we did just that. We lasted for only an hour though before going back to the hotel and passing out soundly.

The next morning our little group gathered over breakfast and we tried to figure out what to do. We had two more days to enjoy Fukuoka, and while we could have tried to deal with the car issue right away, we knew that it would have killed our good time. Therefore, we decided to just leave the car in the parking lot and worry about it in two days time.

Well, after that, Fukuoka was amazing. It‘s a big city, about the size of Toronto, and has pretty much everything a person wants. It’s also a lot more beautiful than Tokyo in my opinion, and much smaller so is more manageable. The first thing we went to do was shop, and we all stocked up on things not available in our smaller towns – like books and multimedia in English.

That night, we all got ready to go party in style. We put on our best party clothes and hopped onto the subway to go to find the Happy Cock -- a bar with lots of foreigners that came highly recommended (I just love the name). On the subway, we just happened to meet two U.S. Sailors stationed at Sasebo and we chatted them up. Well, as it turns out they knew a place to get some ‘shrooms in Fukuoka, and apparently it was legal! We were ecstatic! They were on their way there so we joined them and soon had purveyed some nice supplies. I wasn’t sure how potent it was gonna be, but since it was the only narcotic I was gonna have for a while, I figured what the hell. It would help kill some rainy afternoon. We said good bye to the sailors and although we couldn’t find the Happy Cock that night we did find another club called the DarkRoom, where the bartenders spoke English. Well the rest of the night was a bit of a blur, but we did meet this awesome Japanese chick who worked there and who started buying us shots because she felt bad that some asshole guys were in the club and bothering us. Soon we started buying her shots back, and happy and plastered we all danced the night away. From here the night gets even hazier, but as I recall, around 3 am Trisha and Kara decided to go back to the hotel. Nicole and I decided we wanted to keep partying, so we made our way to a Latin club nearby. I vaguely remember dancing with some Japanese girls and then being twirled wildly by Nicole in a very crowded and tiny dance space. As you can imagine, this did not turn out well. We were too drunk to keep our balance and Nicole was going crazy with the dancing. She lost her balance (on a poor J-girls foot) and fell backwards over piles of bodies. On her way down she grabbed my arm, and I, already off balance came crashing down beside her. I severely twisted my foot and toes in the process and it hurt so much that I nearly threw up from the pain, despite the pain numbing affects of all the alcohol in my blood stream. As people helped us up, I gathered the last remains of my self respect, dragged Nicole out of the club and into a cab and promptly passed out in a heap. I woke up the next morning and thought I had broken my toe. This ‘caused me to emit the biggest sigh of resignation that has ever been heard on this planet, I’m sure. Did the gods of travel not want me in Fukuoka? I limped downstairs.

We finally made contact with the car rental place, and decided that the best course of action was to leave the car in the parking lot so it could be towed, and then we made our way back to Shimabara with train, bus and ferry while Nicole got on the ferry to her Island. It was raining as we walked to the train station and we got totally soaked. There were also no free seats on the train, so we had to sit on the floor of the train like three wet, and tired bums. Incidentally, apart from the rain before we got onto the train, the way back was really easy, took only two hours and cost $30. Oh the trouble we could have saved ourselves had we only not taken the damn car.

And so the car broke down. But damn, the emergency crew comes minutes later without being called.....

Trisha trying to explain what the problem with the car is....Nicole in the background is trying to pick up the other emergency guy...

A view of downtown Fukuoka at night, Nakasu district. The picture does not do it justice....

The ladies grabbing some food before heading out to the clubs. Watch out Fukuoka!

The yakitori restaurant we went to. How cool do the servers look? I half expected them to whip out katanas while cutting the meat....

Nicole is tanked and trying out some avant garde moves on da floor.

Kara going crazy on the dancefloor. I can't remember the last time someone looked that happy to be dancing, without the assitance of E.

Nicole bending over as if she was gonna be sick. Shortly after I asked her if she was ok and she nearly headbutted me at full force when she whipped her head up with lightning speed. We should have called it a night at that point.......but no.

The last picture from our night out....this is the latin club where I nearly broke my toe. Huh. So that's what it looks like.....

Riding back on the train to Shimmy in style....

Thank god I had my jacket with me.....even though it was a sweltering 36 degrees C outside, the Japanese people think its fun to keep the inside of trains at polar temeperatures. I was wet and so cold. Oh so cold.