Reflections on Leaving Japan....Ichi go Ichi e

My life lately has been extremely hectic. Suddenly I have tons to do at work and out of it. At work there has been seminar after seminar, and meeting after meeting. Out of work I have been learning to DJ (my debut is in a small Nagasaki city club this Friday), trying to learn all the forms of jodo and iaido (since I won’t get as much of a chance to train in either when I get back), packing, cleaning, making travel plans for Europe and trying to squeeze every ounce of summer fun that I possibly can out of my last weeks here in the land of the rising sun.

Two years. Not a short amount of time, but then again, not overwhelmingly long. It seems like it went in a mere blink, but when I walk or drive around my little portion of Japan now I realize just how used to everything I am. This has really become my home in so many ways. I have weekly routines, daily conversations in Japanese, a clear place in Japanese society and a good social circle. I have accomplished a lot and have ended up somewhere different than I intended, but in many ways somewhere I know is closer to where I want to end up in the long term. I have learned that life is unpredictable a lot of the time, but that that is part of the fun. I have learned that I love brutal honesty more than politeness and fakeness, though I recognize the need for the latter in professional settings now. I have added two martial arts to my repertoire, as well as the basics of another foreign language. I ate raw fish (I who disliked fish of any kind before coming here).. I have experienced traditional tea ceremonies, crazy Japanese office parties, and relaxed in beautiful onsen hot springs. I have met people from all around the world and learned we all have way more in common than not, and the nots are what lead to most of the good conversations anyways. Did I mention I ate raw fish?? Actually even saying that seems so mundane now, especially after the plethora of previously unheard of sea and land creatures I have eaten since coming here.

Listing everything that I have seen and done in the past two years would be impossible and probably boring for anyone other than me though. So I’ll stop with the above paragraph. I am not sure if I will write another blog entry from Japan after this simply because I am too busy for reflection, but I just wanted to say it has been one hell of a ride.

I still remember getting off the plane in Nagasaki airport with Nicole and realizing I was going to the middle of nowhere, knowing no one, and not speaking the language of majority. I remember moving from the little town of Shimabara closer to the city last year, and having most of my really good friends leave Japan, thus leaving me to start over again on my own. I was so scared last year about how this year would go, and really it turned out to be even better than the first.

In this final glance back, I regret nothing, and though I will miss a lot of things, I feel ready to move on finally. I will stay in touch with many people, and though I will never be able to have the exact crazy wonderful times that I have had here, I will keep a memory of those things and bravely go forth towards continuing to gain more experiences of a similar nature. I was still for too long before, but after the last few years I am finally ready to accept that action is the only way to keep myself doing meaningful things. It is also wonderful to know, that as I have adopted a global perspective, and move towards an international career, I will have friends in many corners of the world. Not just acquaintances but people that I really consider solid individuals. That is a very, very nice feeling to have. 　Arigatou, Japan. Honto ni, arigatou.

Parents in Japan

Well my parents have come and gone and now I am on the final stretch of my life in Japan. Having them here was actually pretty nice (although there were many moments of near craziness due to them being….well, themselves). It was nice seeing them after all this time though, and sharing with them what has been my life for the past two years.

We started their trip to Japan with a visit to Kyoto and Nara, the old Japanese capitals. I love the history and beauty of these cities and thankfully my parents did too. Nara especially is beautiful and quintessentially Japanese, gorgeous gardens and all. The main area of interest there is Nara Koen which is a large park featuring several historical sights and temples, and which has something like 2000 deer roaming freely thorough it and interacting with visitors. My father got a little too generous with feeding the deer though, so at one point my mother and I got to stand by and watch with laughter as he was chased through the previously peaceful park by a mob of the hungry little bastards.

It was hilarious getting my parents impression of Japan too, and trying to get them to behave in Japan appropriate ways (getting my mother to stop making stereotypical anatomy size jokes was a challenge for one). I had forgotten how loud, crude and intense my family can be sometimes. My dad pretending to be a geisha in a Japanese bathrobe; my mother swearing loudly in Croatian and English amidst otherwise quiet Buddhist temple settings (I had reprimanded her, she told me I was being silly and to prove it said something indecent in Croatian to the back of a nearby monk, laughed to herself, and then tripped and almost fell into a carp pool, which finally made her behave).

After our whirlwind tour of old Japan, we finally headed back towards Nagasaki. By this point they had decided that their favourite type of Japanese restaurant was an Izakaya (I tried explaining that eating at these is the equivalent of eating at a western style pub…and hence food quality isn’t always the greatest, but they didn’t really seem to care – my mother was thrilled that she didn’t have to eat raw fish or other weird things as she had expected and my dad was just happy to have a large pint of beer in front of him). They also got really excited by the fact that there is an overabundance of bakeries in Japan – the availability of bread was a pleasant surprise apparently. I swear I ate more bread and bread related products in the two weeks they were here than the whole rest of the time I have been in Japan.

By the time we finally reached Nagasaki (me now several pounds heavier), the temperature was noticeably warmer and it was a lot more humid. My mother dealt with the heat surprisingly well, and I only had to listen to one long hour of whining on a day we had to walk from a ferry port to the beach with the sun high and hot overhead.

In Nagasaki, we did the usual tour – Mount Unzen (for onsening and the sulfur pits), Shimabara (my previous place of residence, and quaintly historical), Nagasaki city (my closest big city) and of course Omura (my current abode on the bay). They found the onsens (hot springs) interesting but weird and I think my mother liked them, but found them a bit hot. I also took them to see my friend perform Japanese dance, which was my first time as well, and quite a good way to experience traditional Japanese culture. Of course, they wanted to see me do Iaido and Jodo too and so I arranged for them to see some classes which was pretty cool for my teachers as well as for my parents. Training martial arts in Japan is a lot different from my experiences in North America, after all, and it was nice to share that with someone who can compare the two.

They also got to meet almost all of my friends, both foreign and Japanese, on one night or another. I even dragged them out to a battle of the bands at a local bar where I sometimes help out. I actually ended up working the bar that night so I was surprised that they stayed out quite late on their own in such a loud, crowded place. The only problem was that my mother kept trying to help me clean up the bar and even yelled at me for being too slow at one point. Mothers. My father was as usual antisocial, but I am glad he didn’t say anything too embarrassing. He mainly grilled everyone about whether they rode bikes or not and what kind.

Of course, everyone at work knew they were coming so my boss insisted I bring them around. I don’t think they expected the kind of reception they got, and were even sort of embarrassed (as I sometimes am) at how generous and kind everyone at the center is. There were ceremonies, presents, and numerous tea drinkings in their honour. I had to spend a few hours dragging them around to meet everyone and even the head director wanted to have tea with us. The only difficulty here was that I was often the only translator and while I may have passable Japanese for simple situations, trying to understand and translate complex cultural questions proved a little difficult. Luckily everyone was forgiving, and sometimes I just simply made stuff up so that things would be easier. A typical conversation went something like this:
Approximation of question asked in Japanese: `how do you find the cultural aspects of Japan are showcased in its ancient capitals and what impression of the Japanese people do they give you?`
My answer (mangled Japanese, and having understood only half of previous question):
`uuuum…..Japan culture? Yes. We like Japan culture. It….interesting. Very….fun`.
*big hopeful smile*

At the end of their time here I was getting quite used to having a full house again though, and it was nice to come home to a clean home and food everyday. At the same time, it made me realize how much I have come to value my alone time as well. All in all, I gained more than I lost…..especially since I rescued my poor green purse (which my mother claims makes me look like a whore due to the fact that its falling apart and is, well, bright green in colour) from the garbage, in my parents` failed attempt to get rid of it.

My friends` reactions to my parents was also funny – everyone was surprised that my mother does in fact sound exactly like how I imitate her – heavy Croatian accent, and constantly claiming that she is dying from some disease or other.

All in all good times, but as soon as they were on the train on Friday, I definitely deserved the night of drinking that I got!