Old age and the Holidays

Well I had a great, somewhat hedonistic Birthday weekend and in two days I leave for a big trip to Thailand. I am excited, which is good, because it is taking the edge off the fact that I just turned 26 and have the sudden feeling that 30, 50, and 70 are now just around the corner. My new found age panic is kinda good though, because I have really kept to my jogging routine the last few months, since I wanna be hot while I still can be.

What a good weekend. Friday I had an overnight Bonenkai (Xmas party) with the people from my office at a nearby hot spring resort. I was the only foreigner there of course, and I didn’t have the benefit of someone translating everything for me because I was seated far away from the English speakers. This meant I had to rely on my Japanese skills a lot more, but I actually surprised myself. I managed to understand most of what was going on and ended up having a great time. As usual, the old men and a few of the alchie women were surprised by my drinking skills and the night ended with a room party with the girls, and talking about some down right dirty stuff. Let me tell you, Japanese women may be repressed, but get some drinks in them and they got some good stories to tell. There were also a lot of Japanese university students at the resort for some reason, so we got subjected to cute, drunken, and mostly naked Japanese boys running around in the corridors which all of the ladies enjoyed greatly – cultural differences can seem so insignificant sometimes. It was also one of the few nights that I have spent with all Japanese people where I didn’t feel like a `gaijin` but rather like an actual part of the group.

On Saturday, I got back to mine at 11 am and made the mistake of dropping by Aaron’s to see if he was up. He was. He was also with Hayden and they were already drinking and made me join (well granted, it didn’t take too much convincing). By the time that the peeps from Shimabara arrived at my place to go out to celebrate my Birthday I had been drinking for close to 24 hours and was somewhat unsuccessfully trying to put my make up on straight, while the boys were already passed out and laying scattered around my room. We managed to pull it together and go eat though, which ultimately gave me a second wind. It was a really nice time overall, and I was glad to be surrounded by good friends (some of whom had driven quite far to boot), especially since I will be spending yet another Christmas away from family. I know I have been saying this a lot, but it just amazes me how much Japan really feels like home for me now, even though I still miss everyone in Canada (and Europe and the States for that matter).

Well, only two days to go now, and I will be in the tropical paradise that is Thailand! Therefore no posts for a while. So on that note, I hope that everyone has a great winter vacation wherever in the world you may be – I know I will! Happy Holidays!

At least little Yuki thinks I`m special....

Translating things automatically, without thinking about what you’re saying can sometimes lead to hilarious results. For example, last week one of the guys I play tennis with asked me how to say “borru ga nai” in English and I told him it was “I have no balls” before giving it much proper thought. The result was that during tennis practice yesterday he shouted across the court at me “Hey Rana, I havu no Balls!!” and flashed a big grin, proud with his English. I thought about correcting him, but didn’t know how to explain what he was saying in Japanese so I just let it slide after I had myself a good chuckle.

I had a good day at elementary school yesterday too. I learned how to write “Ichi Go Ichi E” (“once in a lifetime chance”) in Kanji. This was because I got to take a class with the 5th graders who were practicing their Shodo (traditional Japanese calligraphy) skills. It’s always humbling when 10 year olds outdo you at something like writing or drawing, but at least they were rather nice about it. Little Yuki even told me that `she thought I had great potential`, though I suspect she was just being overly kind, since at that point I had only drawn one straight line.

At the end of the day though, I didn’t care how retarded it was that I was sitting at the world’s smallest desk and chair learning to write from little children (while getting some rather condescending praise from passing adults, who seemed more than shocked that I was able to hold the brush upright and not drool all over the scroll paper) because doing crafts sure as hell beats sitting on my ass in the staff room. In addition, my finished scroll is now proudly hanging on my fridge door, patiently waiting for a visit from my parents (or someone that can temporarily act as a parental surrogate) to receive the praise that it so desperately yearns for and dare I say, deserves. Japan rules.

An African weekend, a philosophical Monday.

Djembe drums and tabenomihodai (all you can eat and drink) – 3000 yen. Japanese people dressed in African-style traditional clothing dancing African dances while a full house of people from all over the world laughs and joins in – priceless. These are the things that I love about being in Japan. Connecting to people that I would never have had a chance to meet back home and finding commonalities beyond the mundane. Seeing cultural differences and finding humanistic similarities. And of course, seeing another culture through the eyes of the Japanese; which is always, always, if nothing else, a fascinating experience in surreality.

Even when I aim to have a quiet weekend I can still be surprised by the uniqueness of life here. Every time I become aware that I will be leaving here to get back to real, hard life back home before I know it, my heart now skips a beat in fear. What’s waiting for me in Toronto? Where will I end up? Should I try to go to university in Austria or go live for a bit in my homeland, Croatia? Should I go to law school in BC or try to find another country to live in? Maybe join the Foreign Service, because I am now certainly qualified. I love it here sometimes, and sometimes lately there is a little voice saying I should stay longer or just simply not go back. However, that voice is mainly coming from fear. Fear of going back to the confusion I had left behind. Considering that I am about to turn 26 though, I know that I can’t let fear drive my life anymore. I have to go back and face everything that my life has been so far and then make a decision of where to go from there.

So many people cling to certainty, and to safety. I think that’s natural, but Japan has taught me to compartmentalize it and carry it with me to a degree.

I remember when I was a kid and couldn’t sleep my mother used to heat up milk and put honey in it for me to drink. Even now when I drink hot milk with honey I feel a bit of the safety of being a 4 year old and in the safekeeping of my parents` bed. It’s not much, but if we can all find the little things inside us that kept us going, the things that we always carry with us, then maybe we can add them up into a larger whole from which we can tap our strength.

Then again, maybe I am just cold and philosophical on this Monday morning with no pressing matters to attend to and over thinking things as usual. I am also upset because the North Face shell that I wanted to purchase (listed as $60 online) costs about $250 in Japan. Good trekking backpacks are similarly expensive so it looks like I might have to wait till Thailand and buy a cheap knockoff or something – which will be hard because I don’t like cheap knock offs. Curse my expensive tastes!